Are We There Yet .... ??

Exactly 15 years ago this month, I stopped working to enter the grueling world of  full-time Mommy-hood. I was a nurse, a wound care nurse, specifically, and I loved it. Looking back, I think I gravitated to wound care early on in my nursing career because there were tangible differences to be seen in actively healing wounds. I worked primarily in nursing homes, and, let's face it, nursing home patients don't exactly "recover" from old age, hop up out of bed with a spring in their step and mosey on out the facility doors. But I knew that if I treated a wound correctly, it would actually heal and make a real difference in the patient's life. Unless you're in the medical world, you can't appreciate the fact that a bedsore can kill a person …. especially if you're 90, diabetic, have high blood pressure and your immune system isn't working optimally. So, the point is, I like forward moving progress, something I can actually measure … like the slowly closing edges of a decubitus ulcer, or …  to all you non-medical people out there, a bedsore.

The next 15 years were filled with the blur of having and raising children. But, again, measurable differences could be observed and recorded … from the trimesters of pregnancy to actual birthdays, pre-school to now entering high school, I could see the forward moving progress of my boys reaching milestones and growing up.

To say that I am now wildly out of my comfort zones and smack dab in the middle of uncharted territory is a gross understatement, for too many reasons to count. This is all new to me. Add to that uncomfortable mix that the entire month of August has been a frustrating exercise in hurry-up-and-wait …. key people are on vacation, others are traveling for business, misunderstandings abounded, and pivotal meetings had to be postponed for the damnedest of reasons …. like earthquakes. Now we have Hurricane Irene winding her way up the east coast, and are looking at the prospect of days without power. 

Where are the carefully measurable guide posts of my comfort zones? I feel like I am at the starting line of a race, crouched and leaning forward, every muscle tensed in anticipation to spring into action at the sound of the starting gun, waiting, ears straining for the slightest sound, waiting, waiting  ….  

The starting gun ….

I get up in frustration and look around. Did anyone even bring a starting gun?? Yes? Okay … where is it? Oh … I get it. It's that cosmic conductor I referred to once, orchestrating all the moving parts. Well … what's going on? Is anybody up there?

And that's when I hear a friend's voice in my head, telling me again, as he has done at least a hundred times ….. "Patience, Grasshopper." I resist the urge, as I have done at least a hundred times, to smack him, and pick my head up,  straining to listen to something ….

Ah …. I think I'm starting to get it now. Finally. The conductor. In every piece of beautiful music, there are pauses … breaks woven in to become part of the overall harmony. The music will begin again … when it's time. All along I have realized I can't force things here … they will happen when it's time. I have to trust in the process, sit back and enjoy the journey, breaks and all.

So …. I pretend it's one of those interminably long car rides with my children. I pop a DVD in the back to keep them entertained, put my ear buds in my ears, and listen to the music …. knowing that it's just a matter of time before we reach our destination.

We'll get there. We always do.

It's Always Something .....

So, here I am, going blithely along, working on Fabulous Shoe Night. Finally, I feel I have found my "calling," so it doesn't feel like work at all. I have felt, and written more than once about, the unmistakable magic and serendipity I feel all around this project, and I am humbled, and so very, very grateful for the overwhelmingly positive response the concept has generated. I am confident I am on to something here … something that can make a real difference in the world. Things are going along swimmingly, right …..??

Well, maybe not as much as I may have first thought. I know that anything worth doing, and doing well, will run into obstacles at some point. There is no way to predict at what point those obstacles will occur, or what they may be, so when they strike, you get the wind knocked out of you … even though you have convinced yourself that you are fully prepared to deal with whatever may come along. Let me preface things by saying that today, almost 3 days later, is the first time I am able to talk about, think about, and write about what happened without breaking down in tears. I am a crier … you might as well find out now.

 There was a misunderstanding. It happens. A lot. Humans, and human communication, are flawed. I thought I had given the go-ahead for some work to begin. I thought that work was currently in process. It was not. At all. I didn't find out until 7 weeks later. Seven weeks. Almost the entire summer. Seven weeks. SEVEN.

 Was this done maliciously? Absolutely not. Was I furious? Yes ... VERY. Did I cry, scream, rant and rave in private?  Yes. Have I gotten down to the bottom of the communication breakdown yet? No. But I will. Is Fabulous Shoe Night adversely affected in any way? No … I don't think so. Have I learned a very valuable lesson? Oh … HELL, yes.

(Deep, deep breath.) Click, click, click, click. 

 That's me … in my stilettos. 

Can you hear me coming? 

Because I am … more determined, and certainly wiser, than ever.

      

         

        

LLC's, 501(c)(3)'s, Trademark Attorneys …Oh, My!

Let me begin by saying that if you are a lawyer, my hat is off to you in admiration and respect. Not because I think you're any more intelligent or sophisticated than the rest of the population, but because you obviously have the type of mind that can go through pages and pages of dry, tedious, verbose legal documents and not run from the room screaming. Clearly, my mind is not wired that way, for I would rather stick pins in my eyes. Really.

But I am learning that lawyers are a necessary evil, and not just because I'm married to one. Before we can get to the true heart of Fabulous Shoe Night … before we start to hold events, wearing our most fabulous shoes, and actually begin to raise money for those in need, we have to get all the mundane, dreary, seemingly endless, arid and wearisome legal work out of the way. Trust me … this stuff is God-awful. I had no idea what a good job I had done over nearly 17 years of marriage shielding myself from getting sucked into the vortex of such banality by asking the simple question, "How was your day at work?" There is true merit to the phrase "In one ear, out the other," and apparently, I am an expert.

So while somehow FSN is effortlessly gaining momentum all on it's own, and I am fielding offers out of the blue from boutiques, salons and restaurants to hold FSN events, I have to do what does not come naturally to me, and exercise patience. We are simply not there yet. Momentum and enthusiasm, and not just my own, are immensely difficult to reign in, but it must be done. For until we build an impenetrable, substantial, and yes … legal foundation, we run the risk of the entire operation collapsing around us.

To the trademark attorney, tax attorney, corporate attorney, etc., forgive me if my eyes seem to glaze over. You are not imagining things … they are.  I am only pretending to pay attention because I know I have to. But, please, don't be fooled; I have not mentally checked out. While you drone on and on, sounding like the voice of the adults in the Charlie Brown specials I grew up watching, my mind is elsewhere. I am thinking of all the people we will someday help, all the charities we will contribute to, all the good we can and will do … with your help. I know we have to get through this tedious part, build that solid, impenetrable foundation, and that the magic I have sensed all along will return. I just wish I had a little fairy dust to throw your way. Don't take this the wrong way, but … you need it.

A Thank You Note

Throughout the course of bringing Fabulous Shoe Night from mere idea to execution, I have been cognizant of one very important fact; that while I may have given "birth" to the concept, without the proper people around me, it would remain just that … an idea. Although I am acutely aware of what I sense as magic and serendipity all around the project, without concrete action, I know that magic has a way of fizzing out when ignored, and serendipity only works if it's mysterious, mercurial powers are put to good use. But both magic and serendipity would surely dry up without the singularly most important Universal law out there … gratitude.

While I plan to introduce all the members of my advisory board in future blog entries, one member stands out, and he deserves to be introduced first. Strange having a male advisory board member for something as decidedly feminine as Fabulous Shoe Night, you may ask? Well … yes and no. For while I may be the heart and soul of FSN, Jeffry, my friend of 20+ years, is the circulatory system that keeps things moving along. I can't help but think of the word "verb" when I think of Jeffry, for he is the personification of an action word. Actually, "verb" has a distinct look in my mind's eye when thinking of Jeff … cartoon block letters in Superman colors of red, blue and yellow, deeply outlined and shaded in black, with an exclamation mark at the end. A big one.

This project would simply go no where without Jeff, for so many reasons. He is ridiculously accomplished, well respected, energetic and charismatic, a real people-person, and sublimely connected. His best attributes, though, are his gigantic heart and his dedication to charitable endeavors. He doesn't just talk the talk, he walks the walk ... all over the globe … and is leader of the pack. Best of all, there is a dash -- just a dash! -- of male ego … just for spice. I like to kid him every now and then that while his initials may be JC, he cannot walk on water. And let's not tell him about the Superman colors … he may run out and buy a cape. But ... then again … I may let him wear it. At advisory board meetings only.

So, thank you, Jeffry, for helping to bring my dream of FSN come to fruition with your knowledge, heart and action. I love you, my friend … but something tells me you may already know that, don't you??

Serendipity

Throughout my short journey with Fabulous Shoe Night, and its subsequent evolution into an instrument for helping charities, I have noticed many strange and fortuitous coincidences.  So many, in fact, that I can't help but take it as a sign from the Universe that I am indeed on the right path, in the right place at the right time, and doing what I am somehow meant to do. I am constantly astounded … not only by other's enthusiasm and sheer excitement for the concept, but at their suggestion that I contact someone they know who would "be a perfect fit" for the project. Upon speaking with that person, they are not only indeed a perfect fit, but they lead me to other people who are perfect fits for roles I had yet to fill;  for as FSN grows, so do it's needs. Yet no sooner do I realize I have to find someone to fill a specific role than does that person seemingly materialize before me by chance meeting or spontaneous introduction, possessing the ideal skill set. It feels like magic, and I feel like a little girl again when I believed, whole-heartedly and without question, in magic, and fairy dust, and making a wish on a star or a dandelion puff … like there is a great cosmic conductor behind the scenes, skillfully orchestrating the many moving parts … and  effortlessly blending the separate instruments, guiding their individual notes into a discernible harmony. 

All along this journey, that is what I feel like I've been doing …. listening. Simply listening. If I am still, and tune out the extraneous noise of life, and tune in to the emerging sounds of the budding harmony, I become aware of magic all around me.  I find that doing this "work" of bringing Fabulous Shoe Night to fruition doesn't feel like work at all …. it is effortless, like dancing.  I stop what I am doing  and make myself still … and listen … tune in to the music and put my finger on the beat.  Then I  simply follow the music, and go where it leads me. Because isn't that what happens when you hear a piece of music that moves you to your very soul? You listen … feel the beat set by the conductor, let yourself go … and dance.