Something So Simple

Every time I've ignored a gut reaction, I've regretted it, so I don't know why I thought this time would be any different. Ultimately, it wasn't, but I think I nipped what could have been a disastrous situation in the bud. Lesson learned.

My last blog post relayed the story of a not-so-nice sales clerk I dealt with while trying to promote Fabulous Shoe Night at an area boutique. The initial meeting did not go well, and I left with a distinctly bad feeling …  it was abundantly clear these people just didn't "get" the Fabulous Shoe Night concept.  FSN is not about how many pairs of high-end designer shoes you own, but rather about helping people. So I was frankly shocked when, more than a week later and seemingly out of the blue, I received a phone call telling me they wanted to host a Fabulous Shoe Night after all. Wanting the event to take place, I convinced myself that I misjudged them. I worked really hard to convince myself of this. Really, really hard.

Yet still, the bad feeling lingered. I was ignoring the little nudges of my intuition that any type of a partnership with this boutique was going to be difficult at best, but I was determined to go through with it, unpleasantries and all, to gain further exposure of the FSN brand. But … at what cost?  I've often felt that when Life is trying to teach you a lesson, the same issue will present itself again and again until you finally get it, and, if you continue to ignore it, you will be presented with a proverbial smack in the head, something so jarring and obvious that it will be virtually impossible to ignore any longer. I've experienced this exact pattern often enough in my own life, yet still I  forged ahead, against my better judgement and willfully ignoring the ever-increasing nudges of my intuition … which were growing distinctly sharper with each interaction I had with this boutique staff.

While  negotiating the terms of the simple, straight-forward business contract I presented to them, they were haughty, condescending, demanding, and at times, almost mocking. I felt I was, literally, caught between a rock and a hard place. In an attempt to keep the event on track, I tried to stay focused on two things … I really wanted to help  their charity of choice, and I also wanted to get the Fabulous Shoe Night name out to their customer base. This was business, right? Just suck it up, deal with the mean girls, and, in the end, be proud that FSN helped another charity.

But, again … at what cost? Dealing with these women was so difficult. The more I tried to compromise, the more unreasonably demanding and mean they became, at one point going as far to ask me, "Really … who do you think you are??"  (This was because of a point in my contract asking that they get an insurance rider, for one night, so if any of their customers drank too much wine that night, FSN wouldn't get sued. I know, I know … how incredibly selfish of me!) 

It was then that the Universe dealt me my long overdue smack in the head … in the form of a sweet, thoughtful and totally unexpected email. 

It came from a young woman living nearby who was diagnosed last year with a disease that resulted in alopecia. She is now almost completely bald … and in her early 20's. Wigs are expensive, and she bought one with the hope of purchasing another in the future. When she went back to Lovely You to browse wigs, she was offered a substantial financial gift toward the purchase of her second wig … a direct result of the money raised at our first Fabulous Shoe Night held at Sorella Boutique in Media.

My eyes flooded with tears as I read her email, and suddenly, everything made perfect sense. I got to work immediately. Within minutes I drafted an email to the boutique, canceling the event altogether, politely telling them that I didn't feel "our goals were in synch." Clearly, they weren't. Perhaps I was putting FSN back a few steps in order to gain the right kind of forward momentum in the future, but my instincts were literally screaming that any kind of association with this boutique would be detrimental. I'd much rather we stay stationary for a time, waiting for the right kind of people to move forward with, than damage the vision and integrity of Fabulous Shoe Night for mere exposure. 

The next email I sent was a thank you note to the young woman who unknowingly provided me with that much-needed wake up call. My desire to grow FSN and help ever more charities clouded my judgement, and caused me to veer dangerously off-track. It took something as simple as a thank you note to steer me back on course. I am beyond convinced that if we remain pure of heart and true to our intent to be a vehicle to help charities, Fabulous Shoe Night will effortlessly gain all the "exposure" we need. I see it happening, seemingly of it's own accord, nearly every day. 

Going forward, thanks to my wake-up call, I have more clarity and focus about how to proceed as Fabulous Shoe Night grows. But, as anything grows, some things have to be modified in order to accommodate changing needs. 

So … we have added an addendum.

Mean girls need not apply.

Just Keep Swimming ...

Coming off such a successful Fabulous Shoe Night charitable event at Sorella Boutique in Media last month makes me, actually … a bit nervous. This is such a new and unique concept, so I think it's only natural to wonder if I can pull it off again.

I don't know … 

Can I??

Unfortunately, there's only one way to find out, and that's by knocking on doors, asking other area shops and boutiques if they, too, would like to host a Fabulous Shoe Night to benefit the charity of their choice. Despite the overwhelmingly positive reaction I get when and wherever I explain the FSN concept, I still get jittery when it comes to asking.

I started my quest at one of the Main Line Philadelphia area's premiere boutiques, located about 40 minutes away from my home. Since they are so fabulous, and since I never fail to get comments and compliments on them, I decided to wear my lucky cowboy boots that were the catalyst for the entire Fabulous Shoe Night concept. 

As I walked into the boutique, a place I had never shopped before, I was greeted by a pretty, stylish woman about my age, who immediately zeroed in on my boots. (Yes … they really are that fabulous!) Inwardly smiling that my subtle, harmless manipulation had worked, I thought how easy this was going to be. After a few minutes of browsing, we began chatting,  and I told her and another clerk about my purpose for the visit. The first clerk, whom I'll call Mary, immediately understood the concept, as well as what it could mean for sales at the store and the owner's pet charity, and was very enthusiastic. The other woman was older, and unfortunately had the snooty demeanor of the sales clerk who shamed Julia Roberts out of her store when she was dressed as a prostitute in "Pretty Woman." Lets's call her Brunhilde. In fact, she had the same gaunt appearance and haughtiness as the mean clerk in the movie, but I didn't want to be judgmental, so I focused my attention equally between the two. A few more seconds into my pitch and it became painfully obvious that she didn't like …the concept …? My boots …? Me …? She looked distinctly bored as I was explaining the FSN concept, while Mary chattered on excitedly what fun their customers would have. They told me the owner was due in shortly, so I decided to try a few things on while I waited.

The store was packed with wonderful merchandise, so I got to work looking around. But … have you ever had one of those "off" shopping days, where nothing seems to really work? I just didn't love the things I was trying on … and, at those prices, I wanted to love whatever I bought. While Mary was busy with another customer, Brunhilde held up a mustard colored ponte knit sheath dress. The color was, frankly, awful, and I politely told her it was "not me." She kept urging me to try it on, telling me it looks fantastic "on everyone." Ugh … whatever.

True to my instincts, I did not like the dress on me. I felt it made me look wide in the hips/thigh/abdomen area …. not a look any woman aspires to, so I couldn't wait to get it off. I normally wear between a size 4 or 6, but, for some reason, it just wasn't flattering on me … at all. Just as I began to unzip the back zipper, Brunhilde called for me to come out of the dressing room and show her how it looked.  I pulled back the curtain and told her my concerns with the fit. She said, loudly, her voice seeming to echo throughout the shop, "I couldn't agree more. I'm agreeing with you! Take that off, right now! Get it off!" 

 And here I was worried about my sales pitch of the Fabulous Shoe Night concept?? 

Not exactly feeling the love, I decided to leave my card and ask that the owner of the boutique call me if she wanted to learn more. Feeling dejected on my ride home, I began questioning the viability of the FSN concept, as well as my ability to "sell" it. Yet, any time feelings of self-doubt creep in, there is a spark that remains, refusing to be extinguished. I believe in this. I believe in this with every fiber of my being, and I know that once we get this truly off the ground, FSN has the capability to raise a lot of money for charities. That thought is what keeps me going when I begin to doubt myself, and even the concept itself. This is going to work … as long as I "just keep swimming," like the character Dorie sings in one of my favorite movies, "Finding Nemo."

I was able to shake the feelings of dejection after a few days, and realized I had to pull up my boot straps (on my fabulous new Lucky Brand boots!), and continue to knock on doors. Then, while in the middle of driving one of my sons somewhere, my phone rang. It was Mary, telling me that the owner of the boutique was "very eager" to hold a Fabulous Shoe Night event at her store. Could I come in later that week to discuss details and possible dates? 

Wow …. really? 

Like Dorie, who had to learn to steer clear of  stinging jellyfish while she just kept swimming, remaining focused on her goal, I have learned that I need to keep clear of the Brunhildes of the world.

And the color mustard yellow.