Something So Simple

Every time I've ignored a gut reaction, I've regretted it, so I don't know why I thought this time would be any different. Ultimately, it wasn't, but I think I nipped what could have been a disastrous situation in the bud. Lesson learned.

My last blog post relayed the story of a not-so-nice sales clerk I dealt with while trying to promote Fabulous Shoe Night at an area boutique. The initial meeting did not go well, and I left with a distinctly bad feeling …  it was abundantly clear these people just didn't "get" the Fabulous Shoe Night concept.  FSN is not about how many pairs of high-end designer shoes you own, but rather about helping people. So I was frankly shocked when, more than a week later and seemingly out of the blue, I received a phone call telling me they wanted to host a Fabulous Shoe Night after all. Wanting the event to take place, I convinced myself that I misjudged them. I worked really hard to convince myself of this. Really, really hard.

Yet still, the bad feeling lingered. I was ignoring the little nudges of my intuition that any type of a partnership with this boutique was going to be difficult at best, but I was determined to go through with it, unpleasantries and all, to gain further exposure of the FSN brand. But … at what cost?  I've often felt that when Life is trying to teach you a lesson, the same issue will present itself again and again until you finally get it, and, if you continue to ignore it, you will be presented with a proverbial smack in the head, something so jarring and obvious that it will be virtually impossible to ignore any longer. I've experienced this exact pattern often enough in my own life, yet still I  forged ahead, against my better judgement and willfully ignoring the ever-increasing nudges of my intuition … which were growing distinctly sharper with each interaction I had with this boutique staff.

While  negotiating the terms of the simple, straight-forward business contract I presented to them, they were haughty, condescending, demanding, and at times, almost mocking. I felt I was, literally, caught between a rock and a hard place. In an attempt to keep the event on track, I tried to stay focused on two things … I really wanted to help  their charity of choice, and I also wanted to get the Fabulous Shoe Night name out to their customer base. This was business, right? Just suck it up, deal with the mean girls, and, in the end, be proud that FSN helped another charity.

But, again … at what cost? Dealing with these women was so difficult. The more I tried to compromise, the more unreasonably demanding and mean they became, at one point going as far to ask me, "Really … who do you think you are??"  (This was because of a point in my contract asking that they get an insurance rider, for one night, so if any of their customers drank too much wine that night, FSN wouldn't get sued. I know, I know … how incredibly selfish of me!) 

It was then that the Universe dealt me my long overdue smack in the head … in the form of a sweet, thoughtful and totally unexpected email. 

It came from a young woman living nearby who was diagnosed last year with a disease that resulted in alopecia. She is now almost completely bald … and in her early 20's. Wigs are expensive, and she bought one with the hope of purchasing another in the future. When she went back to Lovely You to browse wigs, she was offered a substantial financial gift toward the purchase of her second wig … a direct result of the money raised at our first Fabulous Shoe Night held at Sorella Boutique in Media.

My eyes flooded with tears as I read her email, and suddenly, everything made perfect sense. I got to work immediately. Within minutes I drafted an email to the boutique, canceling the event altogether, politely telling them that I didn't feel "our goals were in synch." Clearly, they weren't. Perhaps I was putting FSN back a few steps in order to gain the right kind of forward momentum in the future, but my instincts were literally screaming that any kind of association with this boutique would be detrimental. I'd much rather we stay stationary for a time, waiting for the right kind of people to move forward with, than damage the vision and integrity of Fabulous Shoe Night for mere exposure. 

The next email I sent was a thank you note to the young woman who unknowingly provided me with that much-needed wake up call. My desire to grow FSN and help ever more charities clouded my judgement, and caused me to veer dangerously off-track. It took something as simple as a thank you note to steer me back on course. I am beyond convinced that if we remain pure of heart and true to our intent to be a vehicle to help charities, Fabulous Shoe Night will effortlessly gain all the "exposure" we need. I see it happening, seemingly of it's own accord, nearly every day. 

Going forward, thanks to my wake-up call, I have more clarity and focus about how to proceed as Fabulous Shoe Night grows. But, as anything grows, some things have to be modified in order to accommodate changing needs. 

So … we have added an addendum.

Mean girls need not apply.