Saturday, May 26, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Beautiful Blur
I've heard it said that the #1 fear in life, preceding even illness and death, is public speaking. Having a mild stutter (more about that in a future blog post), I can certainly relate. So I was downright terrified when I was invited to speak at a financial seminar for low to moderate income women as a blogger at Community College of Philadelphia.
While it was immensely flattering that my blog received this kind of recognition, not even a full year into it's existence, I still had that pesky public speaking aspect to deal with.
Sigh. Let me tell you … it was quite the conundrum.
Being a practical girl, I decided that I had one of two ways to deal with the situation. I could let fear and panic overtake me and (quite literally) fall apart in front of the audience, or I could feel proud and confident about what I've created, put on my big girl panties, and just talk to them about my passion. I'm happy to say I chose Option B.
But there was another hurdle to overcome, far removed from any concerns I had that I might stutter.
There are a lot of misconceptions about Fabulous Shoe Night, and I run into them frequently. The most common is that we sell shoes. The second, and I think most misleading, is that the word "fabulous" implies high-end, ridiculously expensive designer shoes. Just to clear up any confusion once and for all, neither of these are true.
My main fear was that the audience would be unable to relate to me ... that I would come off as some bored suburban housewife with a "folly," and that they wouldn't be able to identify with me because of that critical first impression. You know … the one we all make.
Again, I felt I had one of two options. I could give into my own nervousness that they wouldn't "like" me, or, I could speak from my heart about just what it is that I feel so passionately about, the near paralyzing fear that keeps me up at night, and what I have attached literally my every hope and dream to. I could talk to them about my "baby." And oh … I do love my baby.
Remarkably, once I began speaking, my nervousness melted away. Much like writing my blog, I just opened up my heart and let what was inside come pouring out.
I shared stories about my journey thus far … the doubts and fears I sometimes still have, the letters of gratitude that have made me cry (and motivate me to continue on when those doubts creep in), the wonderful friendships I've made, the magic, serendipity and guidance I've felt along the way, and the crucial lessons I learned from the "mean girls." (http://fabulousshoenight.blogspot.com/2011/11/something-so-simple.html)
A few minutes into my presentation, I noticed subtle, but perceptible, changes in their body language. Arms began to uncross. I noticed heads nodding in agreement here and there, then smiles and laughs. It was when I got to the pivotal part about my transformational encounter with the mean girls, and the very valuable lessons I learned that led me to write the following in our Club Rules: "In Fabulous Shoe Night, there is no ego, no drama, no competition, and no mean girls," I got … cheers.
I felt like Sally Field at her famous Oscar acceptance speech …"You like me! You really like me!" Yes, they liked me. And, more important, they liked Fabulous Shoe Night and everything it stands for, because they saw it has nothing to do with what almost everyone assumes it does. We are not a bunch of bored suburban housewives, wearing those ridiculously priced shoes. We're … you.
While I was literally basking in their applause and acceptance, it hit me. I was clearly in the minority that day, both in terms of skin color and economics. It occurred to me that the uniqueness of this situation was a true litmus test of the Fabulous Shoe Night concept.
To put it in it's simplest form, a mere glance around the room would have shown our "differences" to be glaringly obvious, but the FSN concept transcended any such separation between us. That's the beauty of helping others … these lines, so clearly defined by history and society, blur … and then magically disappear altogether.
There are no delineations in FSN … no age limits, social status, tax bracket … not even heel height. We're just a group of women, like you, banding together to do some good in the world.
While looking fabulous.
Follow us on Twitter @FabShoeNight
Follow us on Twitter @FabShoeNight
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Universal
More than once on this Fabulous Shoe Night "journey," as I call it, I've been made acutely aware of the presence of … the Universe. While I don't plan to get all "New Age-y" on you, frankly I don't know what else to call it. And, to be brutally honest, I find myself down-right puzzled by it.
To be sure, the creation and execution of Fabulous Shoe Night has stretched my comfort zones further, and more quickly and efficiently, than I'd have ever thought possible. Where 13 months ago I was "just a mom," I am now doing things I'd never imagined, from magazine photo shoots to speaking at a financial seminar for women as a community blogger. It's exhilarating and fun, but also scary. Yet through it all, I have always been aware of what I feel to be … guidance. Confused as I am by that, there's just no other word for it.
This is where my confusion comes in; I am not a conventionally "religious" person … certainly not with all the horror revealed on a daily basis in the news about the Catholic church. But Fabulous Shoe Night has made me aware of a spiritual side I never knew existed within me, far removed from any teachings of any organized religion.
All the times I've written about things like serendipity, magic and coincidence, I've also been conscious of something larger and more pervasive. In a recent blog post, I wrote that I feel I'm not as much going down a path as I'm being led down one. And this is doing strange things to me. Instead of trying to control outcomes and circumstances, I'm more likely now to "go with the flow," sometimes even going as far as to say before large events or new and intimidating experiences, "Okay, Universe, do what you want with this one. I'm putting my trust in you." By doing this, I've learned that the Universe has far better ideas and outcomes than anything I may have conjured up in my wildest imagination. I have been consistently delighted with the results … and that's incredibly cool.
For instance, virtually all of our growth has been what I'll call "organic," and this was by design on my part. I have never tried to force anything, instead trusting in the timing and wisdom of the Universe. Again, I've never been let down, but instead thrilled and in awe of what eventually transpired.
Now, as we are on the cusp of tremendous growth, it's both exhilarating and terrifying. I feel a tremendous amount of responsibility because Fabulous Shoe Night has the potential to help so many people, so I need to execute our plans in a very careful, painstaking manner to avoid implosion. If you think about it, should things go as we hope, it's feasible to have FSN chapters in every state of the U.S. ... perhaps even every county or even town. That's a lot of local charities receiving money, a lot of people getting help. And who's to say it begins and ends in the U.S.? Think about that for a moment. Chilling, right? Believe me … I know.
So while people tell me all the time that I've hit on some "universal
concept" of women and shoes, I've decided not to get intimidated pondering these infinite possibilities and ramifications. In my latest conversation with the Universe, I decided to keep it simple.
Let's not focus so intensely on the word "universal."
Instead … I'll settle for "global."
“The universe doesn’t give you what you ask for with your thoughts - it
gives you what you demand with your actions." ~~ Steve Maraboli
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