Not a Good Fit

My beautiful 25 year old niece Madeleine was up from Florida for a visit recently. She shares my affinity for shoes (we're convinced it's genetic, as my maternal grandmother was also quite the shoe maven in her day), and, lucky for her, we're also the same size. What has become somewhat of a ritual of her visits is a trip to "Aunt Jen's Closet," … Madeleine's favorite place to "shop." It's actually mutually beneficial … she gets to go home with some fabulous new shoes, and I get the cathartic benefit of purging. (Actually, I think I get a double benefit … more room for new shoes!)

I watched Madeleine's reaction to her growing pile of loot with amusement. I must say … she made out quite well. A vintage pair of Frye boots that are amazing, but always hurt my feet too much to ever wear; a pair of strappy Cole Haan Nike Air sandals in a luscious nude suede, but I have more nude shoes than I'll ever need; rich garnet colored patent leather sling-backs in a retro 1940's look  … super-stylish, but easily the most uncomfortable pair of shoes I've ever owned; and a chocolate brown suede sandal with a 4" rope-covered wedge heel … spectacular, but just not worth the blisters they unfailingly produce. 

This latest "shopping expedition" has made me think about the concept of fit … and what makes a good fit, specifically. As any woman knows, that perfect, exquisite pair of pumps may feel great when we're walking around the shoe department, trying them on for size, but until you actually have them on your feet for several hours, you don't know just how they'll wear on your feet. And who among the ranks of shoe lovers doesn't have that perverse shrine in the back of their closet of one or two (and sometimes more) pairs of beautiful shoes that can only be admired from afar … because the band-aids required to get you through more than 20 minutes of wear simply ruins the overall aesthetic. 

After thinking about it, it became clear to me that some relationships can be a lot like ill-fitting shoes. That hard to deal with person you can only take in small doses; relationships fraught with tension; gossip lovers; people refusing to accept accountability for their actions; those who don't pull their weight, etc., are all examples of something that just doesn't fit in your life. Simply stated, friction creates blisters. Better to cheerfully pass such people along to someone who would be a better fit than to sport band-aids while waltzing through life in your Jimmy Choos. Life is waaay too short to deal with those who bring you down. After all, if we can't be comfortable in our own shoes … in our own skin … are we really being true to ourselves??