#WINNING!!!

At the ripe old age of … well, never mind, I'm learning a new language, and it's a bit intimidating. Anyone over the age of 12 would scoff, but I am learning the language of "tweeting" on Twitter.  It's a remarkably powerful tool, and like anything wielding great power, I hope I convey the appropriate amount of reverence and respect. Which is probably why I rarely use it, not wanting to "tweet" haphazardly and appear to be … well, a twit.

About a year ago, a certain Hollywood "bad-boy" engaged in a Twitter war feuding with the producer, and later network, of a wildly popular sitcom. He bragged about his goddesses, tiger blood, and all sorts of oddball goings-on. In one of his most publicized Tweets, he declared himself the winner of his ongoing battle with the single word "winning," preceded by the hashtag symbol (#), which, I've learned, is used for emphasis. 

In the least competitive way possible, I feel that Fabulous Shoe Night is #winning!! as well, so I've borrowed this now famous Tweet to emphasize my point. I can only hope Tiger Blood Man doesn't mind.

One of the best things about Fabulous Shoe Night is that everyone wins. Think about that for a minute: Everyone wins, all the time. How often does that happen?

Our Fabulous Shoe Night members certainly #win because, well ... for so many reasons. Our group provides a fun girl's night out, every month, a reason to wear your most fabulous shoes, and an opportunity to meet other fabulous women … all while helping a local charity. For most of us, it's a welcome departure from the never-ending gerbil wheel of children, car-pooling, sports, dinner, homework, dishes, laundry, making lunches … need I go on?  There are friendships being made, networking going on, and just a good time had by everyone. That's what joining together for a good cause does. There is an absolute feel-good aspect to Fabulous Shoe Night, which is why our numbers are ever increasing.

The restaurant where we hold our monthly Girl's Nights Out absolutely #wins.  To put it briefly, what restaurant wouldn't want a group of lively, dynamic fabulous shoe-wearing women in every single month? (Shhh, don't say anything, but ... just wait until the men catch on! )

The chapter's charity of choice #wins. And since every chapter's monthly GNO must benefit a charity in their hometown, we're certainly spreading the love on a local level. We won't exclude larger, more established charities, but I feel strongly that there is need everywhere … even, and especially, in our own backyards. So, for us, the giving begins at home.

Our sponsors #win. Not only is sponsoring as easy as paying for part or all of the food at a Fabulous Shoe Night GNO, but when our sponsors offer a perk to our members, such as a discount on a product or service, they see an increase in business. And by getting sponsors, we're able to give that much more money to the charity we're helping out. #WINNING!

But this, my friends, is where the magic and serendipity of Fabulous Shoe Night show their lovely influence yet again ...

I was thinking that a cute way to end this post would be to make a witty comment that having such #winning odds, we should take our stilettos to Las Vegas, when (NO LIE!!) … 

I get an inquiry on the Fabulous Shoe Night Facebook page about starting a FSN chapter in … you guessed it … VEGAS!

 Hmmm … I'm starting to think Lady Luck wears fabulous shoes.

"Well, look who I ran into," crowed Coincidence.

"Please," flirted Fate, "This was meant to be."  ~ as seen on Pinterest

Follow us on Twitter @FabShoeNight

Mood-Elevator

I don't consider myself to be a particularly moody person, but every now and then, a blue mood creeps up on me. Actually, it's something we all have to contend with, as it's part of the human experience, and sadly, no one is immune. 

Conversely, there are a multitude of "mood-elevators" out there to help combat these occasional feelings of sadness, which range from chemical to herbal, yoga and meditation to hard-core exercise, music, and even sleep. Then there are the vices, and again, we all have them to some extent; shopping, alcohol, cigarettes, gambling, prescription and illegal drugs, and, my personal favorite … chocolate. 

(You thought I was going to include shoe shopping, didn't you?!)

Okay … I won't lie. I admit that I've occasionally sought out some form of shoe therapy … but only now and then, and with varying degrees of success. But sometimes even a gorgeous pair of 4" stilettos didn't do the trick.

Throughout what I've come to call my "Fabulous Shoe Night Journey," I've noticed something remarkable. For lack of a better term, FSN has added punctuation to my life, immeasurably enriching it, while underscoring my experiences on this journey with color and emphasis. This last year has been a roller coaster of emotions for me … all felt more intensely, indeed because of Fabulous Shoe Night.

So, imagine how it felt this week to present the Family Support Line, (www.familysupportline.org), who will be receiving the proceeds of our Media, PA chapter's monthly Girls' Nights Out for all of 2012, with more than $600 from the proceeds from just one GNO in  March? I'm still flying … literally soaring. And it got me to thinking …

It's so easy. So wonderfully, simply, powerfully easy. 

In a bad mood? Feeling blue?

Give.

That's right … just give.

Give a compliment, give a smile. Give a hug or a kiss. Hold a door open for a stranger. It doesn't have to cost you anything. Let someone ahead of you in the grocery line if they have fewer items than you. I recently did this for a woman, and that simple gesture started a conversation that left us both smiling when she waved good-bye. We teach our three boys to hold doors open for people when we're in public. This small gesture never fails to elicit gratitude, and more often than not, surprise, because it's so unexpected and up-lifting.  The best part is that it makes them feel good … which means they do it more often, on their own. I can't think of a more valuable lesson to give my boys.

Yes, Fabulous Shoe Night is fun. Women love to get dressed up and share cocktails and conversation with other women, but I can tell you that as a group, that's not why we meet. We come together, every month, because we know we're making a difference, and it feels good. Doing good feels good.

It's during those blue moods that we feel most alone in the world, yet, ironically enough, it's an experience we all share. The human experience, with all it's up and downs and roller coaster emotions, is unfailingly enriched by reaching out to those who need a hand, or perhaps, even just a chance. 

Want an example? This is my gift to you. It literally exemplifies every point I've discussed, from elevating mood, giving someone a chance, to that unexpected, unbelievably up-lifting rush of emotion that absolutely defines the human experience and connects us all to one another.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsNlcr4frs4

Now … how do you feel? 

(Smile) I know … me, too. Now go out there and pass it on, in any form you choose. That's the beauty of giving … the possibilities are not only endless, but more far-reaching than you may have ever thought possible.

And not only will you feel … well, fabulous, but I'd be willing to bet that it will elevate your mood higher than any pair of 4" stilettos.

          "Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more."  ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Birthday Wishes

            

            Did you know it's our birthday? Well, it is … kind of! 

            It was a year ago that I was having dinner with my dear friend Andrea when we were both complimented on our shoes. The same exact day that I took my "Terrible Fall." (Yes … the incident was so big, and so significant, that I think both capitalization and quotation marks are justified! In fact, I feel I showed remarkable restraint by deciding against italics and bold typeface as well!) If you've forgotten that particular story, here's a link. I, for one, don't wish to be reminded  … writing about it was enough, thank-you-very-much. 

            

            http://fabulousshoenight.blogspot.com/2011/09/part-1-trip-ive-relayed-several-times.html  

            So much has happened in our first year, and so much continues to happen, that I live in a state of perpetual amazement. Throughout my blog posts in this first year, I've thrown around words like "serendipity," "magic," and "fairy dust" … not for any sort of comic relief or writer's embellishment, but because I really feel I have experienced them. Sometimes I wonder that if on that day of the "Terrible Fall," natural clumsiness, 4 inch heels and a wet floor didn't have as much to do with it as I was perhaps struck by lightning that infused me with an unforeseen bolt of creativity, for that was the very beginning of it all.

            Let me be honest … I have never been creative. Ever.  The one creative endeavor I can even think of was back when I was first married, and made meatloaf in the shape of a heart for Valentine's Day. Now, however, I have ideas literally erupting night and day … fruitful, magnificent, prolific ideas, all with honest to goodness potential, that leave me, and those who know me best, scratching our heads in wonder at where they're all coming from? And while it is not lost on me that a good idea is just that, and that it is the execution that matters most, the fact I am having them at all is nothing short of amazing. (I mean, really …. meatloaf??)

            When describing this fantastic journey I find myself on, I've often said that I don't feel that I'm on a path as much as I feel I'm being led down a path … and that the Universe somehow approves. Doors I never knew existed are suddenly being thrown open, and I am witnessing some of the very ideas that have leapt into my head actually come to fruition. When this happens I am often in awe, but always, always filled with a profound sense of gratitude.

            People often ask me what they can do to help, and my answer is always the same: Come to a Fabulous Shoe Night event. Or, better yet, if our founding chapter in Media, PA is geographically undesirable, start a chapter of your own. Several ambitious, self-starting, fabulous women have done just that, and I can't help but giggle in delight when they tell me that mere mention of the words "Fabulous Shoe Night" never fail to elicit the same response when they tell their friends about it; invariably, there is a widening of the eyes, followed by a gasp, and the words, ""What is that??? Tell me more!!" 

            Ironically enough, what we're really after is feet in the door … many feet, in all different types of shoes. For the more women who come to a Fabulous Shoe Night "Girl's Night Out," the more money goes to the local charity we're helping for a year, the Family Support Line, or the local charities our sister chapters are contributing to in their hometowns.  Better yet, bring friends, lots of them. The equation is simple … more feet = more money for charity.

            So, on this very special first birthday, this is our birthday wish as we blow out the single candle on our (imaginary) cake; We would be most honored if  you would celebrate with us. 

            But please … no gifts. Your presence is present enough!

            "So powerful is the light of unity that it can illuminate the whole earth." ~~ Baha'u'llah

            *** Interested in Starting a Fabulous Shoe Night chapter where you live? Email me at jenginuity@aol.com

           

           

You Don't Know Me, But ... I Love You

            There's an urban legend that we only use about 10% of our brain power.  I don't know if I ascribe to that, but if I were to use that same analogy to describe my knowledge of technology in general, I'd be willing to bet that it's significantly less than that. 

         Oh … how I wish I was kidding.

So it came as a complete and unexpected surprise to me to see on my blogger.com account that I can view statistics about my Fabulous Shoe Night blog. All kinds of statistics. Statistics I had never dreamed about were now suddenly at my fingertips. And  these stats are far different than the dry, impossible statistics course I struggled with in college to get my psychology degree, and later, my entry into nursing school. Those kind of statistics made me cry. Literally … and copiously. I nicknamed the course "Sadistics," and still refer to it as such. (Some nightmares are impossible to forget, even all these years later.) But these statistics … these I came across this quite by accident. I was tooling around on the site, clicked a link I had never noticed before, and … viola! … saw an array of tabs with all kinds of nifty info.  

For instance, I can see, in real time, just how many people have read my blog. Before my discovery of this miraculous tool, I relied on comments on the blog itself, or comments or "likes" on Facebook, where I would post links to my latest blog entry. If there were no comments, no "likes," I automatically went to the dark side, and assumed no one read my blog. Or if there were 3 "likes," I thought only three people read my blog. But my lovely new statistics prove that this assumption is simply not so! 

There are pie charts and trend lines and bar graphs … oh, my! I can see how many people read my blog overall, since it's very beginning, monthly, weekly, daily, even hourly … it's amazing! It gives insight into operating systems and browsers, referring URLs, referring sites and keyword searches. I can even see the number of times each particular post was read.

But …. this was the one that really blew me away! I clicked on a tab labeled "Audience," … and this … this is where I was truly astonished. I can see, geographically on a map, as well as by a listing, each country where my blog has been read. Now this is where things really get interesting. Naturally, the overwhelming majority of my audience comes from the United States … but I was flabbergasted to see where else it is read. As of this writing, my blog has been viewed 26 times in Russia. 

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! 

Really!!! Shut it!!!

I feel like a cheesy infomercial here … but that's not all! It's also read in (descending order) Germany, the United Kingdom, Italy, the Dominican Republic, Bulgaria, Kuwait, the Netherlands, Mexico and Hong Kong.

Granted, some of these readings were in the single digits, but at this point in the game, it doesn't matter. Fabulous Shoe Night as an idea isn't quite a year old yet. We didn't have our first FSN Girl's Night Out until April 2011, and only 4 women attended. My blog has only been in existence since July 2011. Right now, we're more or less small potatoes, but we show growth each and every month and our footprint (pardon the  pun -- couldn't resist!) increases almost daily. Between the formation of contacts, associations and relationships, social media, a top-notch publicist, a new web site in the works, Twitter, the overwhelming reach of the Internet, etc., well …  world domination can't be far behind.

(Okay, okay … !! I was only kidding about the world domination part! Really!)

But … this is my most heart-felt and fervent wish: To my readers outside of the United States … please, give a shout-out.  I stumbled upon you … quite by accident. Say hello, leave a comment, tell us what you think and what you'd like to see, "like" our Fabulous Shoe Night Facebook page, follow us on Twitter (@FabShoeNight) … let us know you're out there, make yourself seen and heard. I know there are fashionable, shoe-loving women with charitable hearts world-wide … can you just imagine the power we'll have, joined together, to help charities across the globe? It's almost unimaginable.

So, international readers … you don't know me (yet), but … I love you. And should we ever meet, looking down, I'm sure I'll love your shoes, too. This fabulous journey I'm on has taught me so, so many things, but one in particular stands out right now …

You really can judge a woman by her shoes. 

When it Rains ...

             It can be difficult coming up with with new blog topics every couple of weeks. But just because I may appear silent  now and then, Dear Reader, doesn't mean there's nothing going on. Behind the scenes, things have been near-frenetic.

             I am happy to report that Fabulous Shoe Night is taking off by leaps and bounds. What started as a whim, as a fun way to get out with my girlfriends every month, has turned into a full-time job ... at least in hours.

             So while I would love nothing more than to share each and every amazing thing going on behind the curtain … I can't. Not yet. I'm superstitious that way. But I can bring you up to date on the things that have actually come to pass, as well as things concretely in the works.

             The first thing I can say is that the learning curve continues. That in and of itself is a good thing. We've changed our "format" a bit, and now ask for a $25 donation at the FSN Girl's Night's Out, instead of the restaurant donating a percentage of our food bill. Essentially, this minor tweak makes everyone happy … for $25, members get an array of heavy appetizers, a generous donation made to the Family Support Line, and a reduced price on beer, wine and a signature drink. The restaurant is happy, because their establishment is filled with fabulous women … which is never bad for business! And the Family Support Line is happy because now, we are able to donate TWICE as much as we did the old way. I'm happy because it's all working, for as everyone knows, if Mama ain't happy …..

Another exciting development is that we are showing significant growth. We've tested the waters in King of Prussia, PA, and are due to open sister chapters in Delray Beach, Florida and Basking Ridge, NJ soon.

On the technological front, steps are being made toward a web site where women can register for membership online, as well as pre-pay for GNO's via PayPal. And we were also able to "test" the viability of this odd, little concept of women + shoes + charity by forming a group on MeetUp.com. In the first day, 16 women joined, with new members joining nearly every day. The men in my life scratch their heads over this, clearly puzzled that a link between these seemingly obtuse concepts even exists. I think this is where I get the most amusement … seeing them try to comprehend. They'll just never get it.

There's actually so much more going on that I'm literally bursting, but … my superstitions keep me from full-disclosure. Unbelievably, I still get frustrated that things aren't moving at a faster rate, even though I know that I need to enjoy the calm before the storm hits … because once it does, it's going to be a tsunami. But I look forward to it. I have the cutest pair of leopard print rain boots I haven't worn in a while …..

No Boundaries ...

Quite simply, I am adamant that the "format" of our monthly Girls Nights Out is fun and informal. The "fun factor" of the Fabulous Shoe Night concept is integral to our very foundation, so I strive to keep our evenings as unstructured and casual as possible. Women, as a whole, are master minglers, so I like to sit back and just let nature take it's course. And since not every FSN member can attend each and every month, there's always a different group of women in attendance, which keeps things fresh.

With this "unstructured structure" in mind, January's GNO was a little different. An impromptu suggestion by one of our members that we all stand up and introduce ourselves, as well as state something we are grateful for in 2012, created a subtle, yet powerful, shift in the dynamic that evening that took me completely by surprise.

I got up and went first. Standing before the 20 or so women there (about 5 of which I didn't even know), I thought for a second of what I wanted to say. Gratitude is big, and something to be taken seriously. As I took those few moments to organize my thoughts, I drank in the vibe of the women before me. We are all there for the same reasons … a love of shoes, to be sure, but, ironically enough, that's by far the most insignificant reason for our gathering.  A love of fun, and meeting other charismatic, compelling women; a night away from the grind of work, children, chauffeuring, etc ... but most important, what drew us there that night, and every other night we meet, was the desire to make a positive difference and give back ... together.

After my brief introduction, I paused and said, "I am grateful that Fabulous Shoe Night … has legs! I look around at all of you here, and I see that it's working. It's working. We're making a difference … because of you." My eyes filled with tears as they clapped … not for me, but for the unity we all felt  joining together for something so wonderfully positive and fulfilling. At that moment, I remember thinking, "They get it. This is really happening. And ... it's going to work." 

I sat in awe as this diverse group of women stood up, one by one, and expressed the things they were grateful for. Very often, to my surprise and delight, they said they were grateful to be a part of Fabulous Shoe Night. They can see my long-term vision, and they're happy and excited to be a part of it. And I, in turn, am equally thrilled to be on this journey with them.

This simple, spontaneous gesture taught me that standing up and verbally expressing gratitude is remarkably powerful. It puts a positive charge into the air, and felt like someone sprinkled fairy dust on the evening, at least for a little while.

Going forward, I am grateful that not only are we in the position to help … and that we can help … but, most of all, that we are helping. And as Fabulous Shoe Night grows and expands, we will help even more people. 

How lucky is it, then, that gratitude knows no bounds … ?

To the remarkable women of Fabulous Shoe Night, it simply means that the landscape of possibility is endless …

"Gratitude is an opener of locked-up blessings."  ~~ Marianne Williamson

Retrospective

I've never been a fan of New Year's. There's something about straddling  two separate years, so close to one another … able to look back, yet forward at the same time, that makes me nervous. I feel like I'm at the edge of a cliff … looking back at the year about to end as solid ground, while the year looming ahead is like looking out into open space. There's nothing tangible … it is truly the unknown. It feels as if I'm perched at the edge of that cliff, about to hurtle myself forward … out into open space. And it's scary.

2011 was a hell of a year for me … and I'm not going to sugar-coat it. It was a year of extremes … no middle-of the-road here, but instead chock-full of some wonderfully high highs, and some kick-in-the-stomach lows.  Yet I think if you look at any year overall, good and bad, with the attitude that it was a learning experience, you're a step ahead.

It's almost incomprehensible to me that this time last year, the phrase "Fabulous Shoe Night" had yet to enter my head. Just eight months later, we are a steadily growing group of amazing women, sharing so much more than just a love of shoes.  As a group, we have made a positive, tangible difference with each and every event we held. I'm so incredibly proud of how far we've come in so little time.

I've also learned a lot. 

I've learned to be flexible. FSN has been through several different  incarnations in the few short months we've been in existence. New ideas are always coming, and some concepts have had to be set aside. But change is good.  Change = growth.

I've learned to treat it as a business … because we are a business. We are in the business of raising money for charities. Sometimes business and friendship aren't the best mix, but that doesn't mean it can't work.  Lesson learned. 

I've learned that not everyone is in this for the charitable component; some people are just interested in the social aspect FSN provides. That's okay … we have room for everyone. We are fun, and we all need a little fun in our lives … in our fabulous shoes.

I've learned people can be profoundly disappointing, and I'm reminded of a quote by Maya Angelou; "When you know better, you do better." We're out to do better … in our back-yard, and beyond. Sometimes you have to let go of the toxic people, the ones who drag you down. Instead, I've learned to surround myself with enthusiastic, positive, supportive people, and remain focused on the finish-line … wherever that is.

I've learned that Fabulous Shoe Night is ever-growing and evolving, and that many, many more lessons are forthcoming.

So, as I stand at the edge of the precipice of 2012, I know that challenges lie ahead. I'm eager to see what this year brings, and how many more people we can help through our combined and dedicated effort. I look ahead with hope … and, to be honest, some trepidation, yet secure in the knowledge that I stand with my arms linked with the amazing women that make up Fabulous Shoe Night. I am so thankful for the vision, advice, knowledge and support of these women as we stand teetering at the edge of this cliff together …

I mean, have you seen our heels?