You Don't Know Me, But ... I Love You

            There's an urban legend that we only use about 10% of our brain power.  I don't know if I ascribe to that, but if I were to use that same analogy to describe my knowledge of technology in general, I'd be willing to bet that it's significantly less than that. 

         Oh … how I wish I was kidding.

So it came as a complete and unexpected surprise to me to see on my blogger.com account that I can view statistics about my Fabulous Shoe Night blog. All kinds of statistics. Statistics I had never dreamed about were now suddenly at my fingertips. And  these stats are far different than the dry, impossible statistics course I struggled with in college to get my psychology degree, and later, my entry into nursing school. Those kind of statistics made me cry. Literally … and copiously. I nicknamed the course "Sadistics," and still refer to it as such. (Some nightmares are impossible to forget, even all these years later.) But these statistics … these I came across this quite by accident. I was tooling around on the site, clicked a link I had never noticed before, and … viola! … saw an array of tabs with all kinds of nifty info.  

For instance, I can see, in real time, just how many people have read my blog. Before my discovery of this miraculous tool, I relied on comments on the blog itself, or comments or "likes" on Facebook, where I would post links to my latest blog entry. If there were no comments, no "likes," I automatically went to the dark side, and assumed no one read my blog. Or if there were 3 "likes," I thought only three people read my blog. But my lovely new statistics prove that this assumption is simply not so! 

There are pie charts and trend lines and bar graphs … oh, my! I can see how many people read my blog overall, since it's very beginning, monthly, weekly, daily, even hourly … it's amazing! It gives insight into operating systems and browsers, referring URLs, referring sites and keyword searches. I can even see the number of times each particular post was read.

But …. this was the one that really blew me away! I clicked on a tab labeled "Audience," … and this … this is where I was truly astonished. I can see, geographically on a map, as well as by a listing, each country where my blog has been read. Now this is where things really get interesting. Naturally, the overwhelming majority of my audience comes from the United States … but I was flabbergasted to see where else it is read. As of this writing, my blog has been viewed 26 times in Russia. 

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! 

Really!!! Shut it!!!

I feel like a cheesy infomercial here … but that's not all! It's also read in (descending order) Germany, the United Kingdom, Italy, the Dominican Republic, Bulgaria, Kuwait, the Netherlands, Mexico and Hong Kong.

Granted, some of these readings were in the single digits, but at this point in the game, it doesn't matter. Fabulous Shoe Night as an idea isn't quite a year old yet. We didn't have our first FSN Girl's Night Out until April 2011, and only 4 women attended. My blog has only been in existence since July 2011. Right now, we're more or less small potatoes, but we show growth each and every month and our footprint (pardon the  pun -- couldn't resist!) increases almost daily. Between the formation of contacts, associations and relationships, social media, a top-notch publicist, a new web site in the works, Twitter, the overwhelming reach of the Internet, etc., well …  world domination can't be far behind.

(Okay, okay … !! I was only kidding about the world domination part! Really!)

But … this is my most heart-felt and fervent wish: To my readers outside of the United States … please, give a shout-out.  I stumbled upon you … quite by accident. Say hello, leave a comment, tell us what you think and what you'd like to see, "like" our Fabulous Shoe Night Facebook page, follow us on Twitter (@FabShoeNight) … let us know you're out there, make yourself seen and heard. I know there are fashionable, shoe-loving women with charitable hearts world-wide … can you just imagine the power we'll have, joined together, to help charities across the globe? It's almost unimaginable.

So, international readers … you don't know me (yet), but … I love you. And should we ever meet, looking down, I'm sure I'll love your shoes, too. This fabulous journey I'm on has taught me so, so many things, but one in particular stands out right now …

You really can judge a woman by her shoes. 

When it Rains ...

             It can be difficult coming up with with new blog topics every couple of weeks. But just because I may appear silent  now and then, Dear Reader, doesn't mean there's nothing going on. Behind the scenes, things have been near-frenetic.

             I am happy to report that Fabulous Shoe Night is taking off by leaps and bounds. What started as a whim, as a fun way to get out with my girlfriends every month, has turned into a full-time job ... at least in hours.

             So while I would love nothing more than to share each and every amazing thing going on behind the curtain … I can't. Not yet. I'm superstitious that way. But I can bring you up to date on the things that have actually come to pass, as well as things concretely in the works.

             The first thing I can say is that the learning curve continues. That in and of itself is a good thing. We've changed our "format" a bit, and now ask for a $25 donation at the FSN Girl's Night's Out, instead of the restaurant donating a percentage of our food bill. Essentially, this minor tweak makes everyone happy … for $25, members get an array of heavy appetizers, a generous donation made to the Family Support Line, and a reduced price on beer, wine and a signature drink. The restaurant is happy, because their establishment is filled with fabulous women … which is never bad for business! And the Family Support Line is happy because now, we are able to donate TWICE as much as we did the old way. I'm happy because it's all working, for as everyone knows, if Mama ain't happy …..

Another exciting development is that we are showing significant growth. We've tested the waters in King of Prussia, PA, and are due to open sister chapters in Delray Beach, Florida and Basking Ridge, NJ soon.

On the technological front, steps are being made toward a web site where women can register for membership online, as well as pre-pay for GNO's via PayPal. And we were also able to "test" the viability of this odd, little concept of women + shoes + charity by forming a group on MeetUp.com. In the first day, 16 women joined, with new members joining nearly every day. The men in my life scratch their heads over this, clearly puzzled that a link between these seemingly obtuse concepts even exists. I think this is where I get the most amusement … seeing them try to comprehend. They'll just never get it.

There's actually so much more going on that I'm literally bursting, but … my superstitions keep me from full-disclosure. Unbelievably, I still get frustrated that things aren't moving at a faster rate, even though I know that I need to enjoy the calm before the storm hits … because once it does, it's going to be a tsunami. But I look forward to it. I have the cutest pair of leopard print rain boots I haven't worn in a while …..

No Boundaries ...

Quite simply, I am adamant that the "format" of our monthly Girls Nights Out is fun and informal. The "fun factor" of the Fabulous Shoe Night concept is integral to our very foundation, so I strive to keep our evenings as unstructured and casual as possible. Women, as a whole, are master minglers, so I like to sit back and just let nature take it's course. And since not every FSN member can attend each and every month, there's always a different group of women in attendance, which keeps things fresh.

With this "unstructured structure" in mind, January's GNO was a little different. An impromptu suggestion by one of our members that we all stand up and introduce ourselves, as well as state something we are grateful for in 2012, created a subtle, yet powerful, shift in the dynamic that evening that took me completely by surprise.

I got up and went first. Standing before the 20 or so women there (about 5 of which I didn't even know), I thought for a second of what I wanted to say. Gratitude is big, and something to be taken seriously. As I took those few moments to organize my thoughts, I drank in the vibe of the women before me. We are all there for the same reasons … a love of shoes, to be sure, but, ironically enough, that's by far the most insignificant reason for our gathering.  A love of fun, and meeting other charismatic, compelling women; a night away from the grind of work, children, chauffeuring, etc ... but most important, what drew us there that night, and every other night we meet, was the desire to make a positive difference and give back ... together.

After my brief introduction, I paused and said, "I am grateful that Fabulous Shoe Night … has legs! I look around at all of you here, and I see that it's working. It's working. We're making a difference … because of you." My eyes filled with tears as they clapped … not for me, but for the unity we all felt  joining together for something so wonderfully positive and fulfilling. At that moment, I remember thinking, "They get it. This is really happening. And ... it's going to work." 

I sat in awe as this diverse group of women stood up, one by one, and expressed the things they were grateful for. Very often, to my surprise and delight, they said they were grateful to be a part of Fabulous Shoe Night. They can see my long-term vision, and they're happy and excited to be a part of it. And I, in turn, am equally thrilled to be on this journey with them.

This simple, spontaneous gesture taught me that standing up and verbally expressing gratitude is remarkably powerful. It puts a positive charge into the air, and felt like someone sprinkled fairy dust on the evening, at least for a little while.

Going forward, I am grateful that not only are we in the position to help … and that we can help … but, most of all, that we are helping. And as Fabulous Shoe Night grows and expands, we will help even more people. 

How lucky is it, then, that gratitude knows no bounds … ?

To the remarkable women of Fabulous Shoe Night, it simply means that the landscape of possibility is endless …

"Gratitude is an opener of locked-up blessings."  ~~ Marianne Williamson

Retrospective

I've never been a fan of New Year's. There's something about straddling  two separate years, so close to one another … able to look back, yet forward at the same time, that makes me nervous. I feel like I'm at the edge of a cliff … looking back at the year about to end as solid ground, while the year looming ahead is like looking out into open space. There's nothing tangible … it is truly the unknown. It feels as if I'm perched at the edge of that cliff, about to hurtle myself forward … out into open space. And it's scary.

2011 was a hell of a year for me … and I'm not going to sugar-coat it. It was a year of extremes … no middle-of the-road here, but instead chock-full of some wonderfully high highs, and some kick-in-the-stomach lows.  Yet I think if you look at any year overall, good and bad, with the attitude that it was a learning experience, you're a step ahead.

It's almost incomprehensible to me that this time last year, the phrase "Fabulous Shoe Night" had yet to enter my head. Just eight months later, we are a steadily growing group of amazing women, sharing so much more than just a love of shoes.  As a group, we have made a positive, tangible difference with each and every event we held. I'm so incredibly proud of how far we've come in so little time.

I've also learned a lot. 

I've learned to be flexible. FSN has been through several different  incarnations in the few short months we've been in existence. New ideas are always coming, and some concepts have had to be set aside. But change is good.  Change = growth.

I've learned to treat it as a business … because we are a business. We are in the business of raising money for charities. Sometimes business and friendship aren't the best mix, but that doesn't mean it can't work.  Lesson learned. 

I've learned that not everyone is in this for the charitable component; some people are just interested in the social aspect FSN provides. That's okay … we have room for everyone. We are fun, and we all need a little fun in our lives … in our fabulous shoes.

I've learned people can be profoundly disappointing, and I'm reminded of a quote by Maya Angelou; "When you know better, you do better." We're out to do better … in our back-yard, and beyond. Sometimes you have to let go of the toxic people, the ones who drag you down. Instead, I've learned to surround myself with enthusiastic, positive, supportive people, and remain focused on the finish-line … wherever that is.

I've learned that Fabulous Shoe Night is ever-growing and evolving, and that many, many more lessons are forthcoming.

So, as I stand at the edge of the precipice of 2012, I know that challenges lie ahead. I'm eager to see what this year brings, and how many more people we can help through our combined and dedicated effort. I look ahead with hope … and, to be honest, some trepidation, yet secure in the knowledge that I stand with my arms linked with the amazing women that make up Fabulous Shoe Night. I am so thankful for the vision, advice, knowledge and support of these women as we stand teetering at the edge of this cliff together …

I mean, have you seen our heels?

No ... Thank YOU

As those of you who follow my blog know, turning Fabulous Shoe Night from an idea into a workable vehicle to help charities has kept me very busy during the past few months. We have long-range goals we've been working toward, bit by bit, every day, and are sometimes able to discern the baby steps of our slow but steady progress. Being so focused on the "big picture" can have it's drawbacks, though … and I have come to realize that my myopia can occasionally cause me to miss the forest while looking through the trees.

We at Fabulous Shoe Night have big plans for our future. Big. Really big. But in my mind's eye, and deep within my heart … I have even bigger plans that I have revealed to precious few. Impossibly big. To quote Steve Jobs, "Make a dent in the universe" kind of big. 

So when I received a note, quite unexpectedly, telling me how one of our FSN events made a positive impact on the life of a young woman battling cancer, far from home, it helped hone and redefine the importance of continuing to help in our own backyard … regardless of whatever huge vision we may have.

Below is the note I received from an oncology nurse at a local hospital. 

"I am contacting you to express gratitude to you on behalf of one of my patients who is a newly diagnosed Breast cancer survivor. She is from South America and speaks little English. You may not even be aware that through a contribution that you gave Debbie Price, from Lovely You, this patient received a beautiful long dark hair wig and some cotton caps. From the money you gifted Debbie, she graciously gave me 10 additional caps. Debbie has been donating to me for the past 3 years, lightly used wigs or wigs that were donated to her from family members that have lost the battle to this disease.  However, this was a 30 year old who had just lost all her hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes.

And this is only the beginning.  She is receiving chemo before her surgery just to shrink the tumor in hopes that the surgery will be less traumatic. She is here staying with family members but her husband is still in South America. She came to me in tears with her father. Her husband was due here in a week and she wanted to look the best she could for him. When I showed her what I had, nothing caught her eye. She went home with nothing and I simply prayed for a divine intervention! This came to me via Debbie with help from your boutique fundraiser. 

When she came to see me a few days later, I gave her the box with a long, hip, dark brown, straight haired wig. Both she and her father were so happy.

The fact is, at my hospital, many patients are under insured or not insured at all. Many of them don’t even ask for things like this that many take for granted. But it is angels like you and Debbie that appear when life has handed another human being this devastating cross to bear. 

Again thanks for your act of Kindness!!"

FSN is new. We are making things up as we go along, to the best of our ability. While we have had some unbelievably successful events, not every event is a blockbuster … sometimes things like weather, time of year, etc., keep people home. And sometimes, the results have been a bit less than what we had hoped for. This is particularly devastating when we are working to raise money for people who have been dealt especially cruel blows from life … like a cancer diagnosis, or an accident that forever changes the life of a child.

But … we keep going. With our focus on that long-term vision we  share, we just keep going.

And the letters of thanks we receive …? They aren't necessary, or even something we ever imagined we'd receive ...

They're just unexpected, glittering jewels we occasionally find strewn across our path, making it easier to keep moving forward ... more determined than ever.

And we are thankful for them.

Momentum

I never would have guessed that my (thankfully!) brief interaction with the "mean girls" at an upscale area boutique would be so abundant in lessons (as well as blog material!), but I've come to realize that when a lesson is truly learned, the Universe responds by sending rich rewards. 

My main concern in canceling a Fabulous Shoe Night event at that boutique was that it would inadvertently halt the seemingly self-propelled forward momentum FSN has seen to date. Response to the concept has been so overwhelmingly positive that sometimes I have to pinch myself … so, after canceling, I was nervous at having virtually no future events scheduled. 

But again, my intuition began nudging me  … and this time, I listened. As I've watched Fabulous Shoe Night grow, it has become clear that this growth has all been organic … meaning that nothing was ever forced. Serendipity has played a huge role in our progress, and my gut was telling me to just to let things progress on their own. So, I did something that, well … does not come naturally me. I was patient.

Not patient as passive … I still worked, every day, to get FSN heading in the direction of my long-range vision … I just didn't push things too hard, trusting instead that things did, and would continue to, happen in their own time … when that timing was right.

Remarkably, I didn't have long to wait.

Within a week of canceling with the "mean girls," I was contacted by two boutiques and two restaurants about doing Fabulous Shoe Nights. As if that wasn't exciting enough, it was so refreshing to see that the people involved truly "got" the FSN concept. They were excited about raising money for charities near and dear to their hearts, and their eyes and faces virtually lit up when discussing who their Fabulous Shoe Night event would benefit. There's nothing more gratifying than working together with enthusiastic, compassionate people to benefit a deserving cause, and then actually making a difference. It's like a drug, really … and the addiction seems to be contagious. 

Fabulous Shoe Night now has several events scheduled in the coming weeks, and we have more irons in the fire stretching out into the New year. Looking back, I feel almost silly now that I was so worried about canceling an event with that little, snooty, inconsequential boutique … particularly given the location, instant name recognition and prestige of where our second Fabulous Shoe Night charitable event was held just last week. 

Oh, wait …. you mean I didn't tell you??

Bloomingdale's!

I can't wait to see where our heels take us next … !

A Most Important Cause

While Fabulous Shoe Night continues to grow and flourish, we have had to modify some things to accommodate our changing needs. That sounds better than, say … we're making things up as we go along, but, actually … we are. 

I had first intended that our FSN monthly Girl's Nights Out  would benefit a different local charity each month, figuring it was a way to help many in our own backyard. But, this is a new concept, and we're learning as we go along. Since the restaurant where we hold our GNO's can only donate from the food portion of our bill, and are donating 10% at this point, I felt it wasn't making a big enough impact. As most of the members of Fabulous Shoe Night feel with the height of our heels, our thinking is "go big or go home," and that includes money donated to charity. So I made an executive decision and decided that, for our first year, FSN Girl's Nights Out would benefit the same local charity in order to be able to donate more money, thereby making a bigger impact. The charity we chose fell in my lap, thanks to the suggestion of my wonderful friend Robin.

Lately you can't turn on the TV or radio, browse the Internet, or pick up a newspaper without hearing about the heartbreaking story that has come out of Penn State, and now Syracuse University. So when Robin told me about the Family Support Line, in Media, I was eager to get Fabulous Shoe Night involved. 

Family Support Line is a non-profit organization offering "specialized services that prevents child sexual abuse and cares for children and families who have experienced this trauma." They were established in 1984, when a mother seeking support for her daughter called attention to the need for the support of families with a child who has been sexually abused. Surely, with the secrecy and shame associated with childhood sexual abuse, such support for the entire family is vital. 

Yes, the cause is timely, with all the horrific details emerging daily on the news, but … I honestly can't think of a better organization to donate regularly to during our first year than one that protects the very innocence of children. 

So while our social Girl's Night Out concept has piqued the interest of many for it's pure fun-factor, we get the most satisfaction in that by simply gathering together with friends each month, in our fab shoes, (something we would absolutely do anyway) … it's actually making a difference. That is what I'm most proud of. I love that. Love it.

But … the best part is … we're just getting started. Can you just imagine the possibilities??